I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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