Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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