Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
