well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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