she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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