If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
