i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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