I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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