I am midnight drunk by noon
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
