Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
