Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
