You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
