I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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