I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
