this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
