I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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