Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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