Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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