Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
As shirtless as possible
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
