Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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