I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize