I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
