You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
