the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
