what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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