It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize