Walk of Shame. In a state park.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
