so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
