You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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