when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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