oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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