Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
