my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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