Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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