Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
