i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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