My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
