get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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