Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
