so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
