I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
