i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
A+ Viking dick
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