My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
