you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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