90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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