Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
