do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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