I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
