you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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