Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
