return my video game
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
