I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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