Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
