smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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