I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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