NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
