I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
