DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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