she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
