they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
