you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
